Joe Biden Running Out of Foods He’s Allowed to Eat

President Joe Biden ate an ice cream cone with Seth Meyers the other day and if you thought for a second that wasn’t meaty enough to turn into content and then contentious discourse online then you haven’t been paying attention. And now, just as that scandal has begun to die down, the 81-year-old commander-in-chief has stepped in it again by eating something else.

While visiting North Carolina, Biden picked up some food from a fried chicken place and then ate with a Black family. Stephen A. Smith blasted the optics on his show, saying it presented a one-two punch of bad looks.

“First of all, we all know about racial tropes, do we not?” Smith said on Wednesday’s episode of The Stephen A. Smith Show. “Racist tropes. You ever heard of that? Where people sit up there and try to use things to intimate something else of a racially-insensitive nature? So Black folks with the president and fried chicken ain’t the greatest look.”

“What the hell are you doing eating fried chicken?” Smith continued. “You’re 81! What 81 you know is munching on fried chicken? You ain’t been in the greatest health in a lot of people’s eyes, you know; so eating some fried chicken ain’t the greatest look.”

There’s obviously a serious issue to consider there. But the secondary part, about Biden supposedly making an unforced error by eating greasy meat at an advanced age, what are we doing here? The man is going to run out of things he’s allowed to eat as judged by the court of public opinion before the election cycle really gets going. We’re going to take away his favorite dessert and then everything else delicious, entree by entree, until he has to shovel tasteless pooridge in his mouth out of fear of losing ground in the polls.

Let’s consider this for a second. Say Biden suddenly goes on an insane salad bender and eats like a 20-year-old Instagram influencer for the rest of his days. Say that hypothetical pushup contest comes to pass and he outperforms Donald Trump. Do you think, for one second, that completely changing his behavior would earn him the benefit of the doubt of people who are actually concerned about his health or are using it to further their own career? If so, then I admire your idealism.

I live by simple rules. One, care about what you put into their own body. Two, be the bad guy and develop healthy eating habits for your dependents — or at the very least stave off the real destructive stuff until they can help themselves to unlimited snacks and drive to get fast food. Three, save the aggravation of giving a shit about what someone you don’t even know who vividly remembers when the Dodgers left Brooklyn eats on any given day.

Let them live a little, dammit. If Biden wants to go sicko mode on a macaroni and cheese pizza and wash it down with four Frostys, well then look at the hungry guy go. If Trump wants to have nine Diet Cokes and never eat a vegetable, then that’s his business.

I have way too much on my plate to be concerned what’s on theirs.