Kim Kardashian: “If I’m Doing It, It’s Attainable” — Interview

After what feels like a long while, Kim Kardashian stops staring at my forehead and says I should get Botox. It’s very matter of fact. The way a grandmother might confirm that the melon she had said all along was overripe was, in fact, overripe. She continues, without emotion. Maybe some filler under my eyes. Oh, and I could stand some microblading in my eyebrows.

Before you blame her for being judgmental and mean, I should say that I absolutely asked for it. Twice.

I met Kardashian only a few minutes before this, when she told me, “People write all the time to say, ‘I heard you’re a really good facial consultant. Can I send a photo? What should I do?’ I am super honest: ‘Okay, you should try this facial or this laser.’” So you can understand how I’d want to get in on that. But of course, she demurred at first. We’d need to know each other better.

We are sitting in her “glam room” (her words) inside KKHQ in Calabasas, California. From the outside, it’s just a building in an office park — as unremarkable and non-descript as the human resources building of Bon Voyage ProStar Life Insurance Blah Blah Company. Inside, it’s different. A stone sofa here, poured concrete table there, a photo studio, a showroom, offices, rooms the size of airplane hangars connected by cavernous hallways that make you feel like you should whisper. It’s like being inside the world’s most enormous and expensive cinder block. At one point Kardashian and I walk past a creamy gray Bentley — so also a garage? Should you wander in off the street without realizing where you were, it wouldn’t take you long to figure it out. The foyer is covered with magazines, all starring our host: Kim dripping wet, Kim and her sisters, Kim as sculpture, Kim naked bending a knee, Kim as a sorceress from the future.

In the glam room, the real Kim and I are surrounded by empty clothing racks, a few shampoo sinks, mirrors, lights, plush sofas, and quiet. If I ever had to put on a bra and underwear for my Sunset Boulevard billboard, I can’t imagine a nicer place to do it.

“I have notes of the best doctors, the best everything,” she says, getting back to her facial-advisory skills. “When this all goes to shit, I’m going to start a consultancy firm.”

But of course, all this isn’t going to shit. In the almost two decades that we’ve known her, Kim Kardashian’s star has only ascended. In any other story about any other person, right about now you’d expect to read a tidy paragraph that sums up the person’s relevant facts into a neat little nut. A nutgraph. But how do you do that for Kim Kardashian?

She was a kid in L.A. Her dad was a lawyer in the Trial of the Century. Then the release of the most famous sex tape in the history of sex tapes… something happened in Paris Hilton’s closet… conquered reality TV… married a famous rapper… had a bunch of babies… everything spelled with K… rapper unraveled… something-something makeup line… billionaire… reality TV again, but this time on a different service… shapewear line… still more Ks… Pete Davidson… new skin-care line.

It is a nut like no other. It is a very flavorful nut.

Kardashian is wearing Balenciaga jeans, a black funnel-neck sweatshirt, and stiletto boots. Her platinum hair is pulled back severely in a middle part. “I have different energy when I’m blonde,” she says. “I’m a totally different person.”

“How so?” I ask. “Are you smarter? Taller?”

“I’m sassier. I’m more confident as a blonde,” she says. “As soon as I go back to brunette, I’m a boss. I’m also a totally different person when I have long, fake nails on. I have so much confidence — and I hate long nails! Every once in a while, I need that bitchy-boss energy. But when I have to write an essay, I’m like, ‘Get these nails off me!’ I can’t type.”

Perhaps Kim Kardashian: Essayist isn’t the first Kim Kardashian avatar that comes to mind. But can we be surprised that she is taking on Joan Didion? She seems to thrive on taking on more. A couple of months ago, Kardashian launched SKKN by Kim, a nine-step skin-care line. While nine steps may seem excessive, she says each is necessary: “I wanted to create a line based on exactly what I really do. I don‘t use all of it every day, but you have to have everything for a complete routine.” Last year, the mother of four also passed the California first-year law students’ exam (a.k.a. the baby bar)….