Penguins’ Jaromir Jagr Bobblehead Night Ruined After Bobbleheads Stolen in

Pittsburgh Penguins fans who score tickets for tonight’s game against the San Jose Sharks were probably pretty excited to get a sweet Jaromír Jágr bobblehead upon arrival. Who amongst us would not want to have that man’s beautiful mullet flowing mere feet from wherever they were doing spreadsheets? It’s tough to look at Jagr and not smile, recalling a simpler time when you could make players’ heads bleed in video game hockey.

But nothing gold can stay and we live in a hell world and other sayings like that tend to ring true as the team has provided a devastating update on the situation. Apparently their stock was stolen while in transit to the Steel City.

We’re trying to live in a society here, folks. You cannot go around stealing bobbleheads and expect to sleep soundly at night. This is the type of case you’d like to see some aspiring Sam Gerrard take on and vow to a embark on a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in the area. And if the eventual trial takes place anywhere in Pennsylvania, good luck finding a sympathetic jury.

Guess it could be worse, though. Some criminal mastermind could have attempted a Sudden Death.