Ivy league equity: Now deans’ lists to become a casualty of progress?

So-called “ivy league” schools, led by Cornell University and the University of Pennsylvania, have begun dispensing with deans’ lists, because … well you likely know why. These erstwhile bastions of “higher education” claim the lists are not only unnecessary, but cause undue stress and anxiety for students.

As might anything requiring effort and competence.

Which is why effort and competence are under attack, as is the honoring — or even recognition — of competence and effort. So, out with SAT tests, get rid of deans’ lists, and dispense with honor rolls. Hell, let’s get rid of grading systems entirely!

Measures of ability, aptitude, and competence are ever more passé. The only metric that matters in today’s world is, say it with me now … ”diversity, equity, and inclusion.”

DEI! Who cares if the surgeon-to-be doesn’t know your tonsils from your toenails, as long as he/she/they check all the right intersectional boxes! And your pilot? Can’t tell an aileron from an elevator, Iceland from France … and panics with a gust of wind? Moot points all! He/she/they hail from a protected class! Feel better now?

While we’re at it, let’s rid ourselves of exalted designations such as “All-Pro” and “All-Star.” They may cause stress and anxiety among athletes! Let’s do away with the Oscars, abolish the Grammys, forgo the Emmys, and nix the Nobel prize. To the ash heap of history with any acknowledgement of merit! Out with virtue, in with equity!       

Speaking of the assault on excellence and The War on Worthiness, let’s stop awarding Silver Stars, Medals of Honor, and Purple Hearts to the young people in the military defending the nation. Vying for these meaningless trinkets must cause them stress and anxiety. Valor, too, just gets in the way of inclusion.

Equity, pass it on.

Photo illustration by Monica Showalter with use of Public Domain Pictures image.