The vision of the FAA

Quite a few years ago, as a young dentist and constant observer of the absurd, I was intrigued by a government grant of substantial tax dollars gifted to a lucky, adventurous, and likely demented scientist to study the sex life of the African tsetse fly. Being young and curious, I had wondered about a vast and varied collection of subjects. However, my curiosity had never gone so far afield as to wonder about the amorous activities of that little bug.

However, having a humorous as well as curious nature, I flippantly proposed a federal grant for the creation of a dental school for the blind. Dentistry was both financially and socially appealing, so why should those unfortunate individuals, lacking only sight, be deprived of the ability to become a member of my noble profession? The grant would necessarily be enlarged to accommodate the training of seeing tooth dogs, an absolute necessity if my venture was going to be realized.

My little fantasy was never acted upon, although it did provide a good number of laughs at parties as well as chairside banter with patients who appeared able to deal with my frivolity. Now, however, it seems that I was just ahead of my time.

The FAA, our federal guardians of the sky, has proposed new diversity in hiring. These new recruits should be chosen from those individuals heretofore not considered for FAA positions, including those with disabilities of hearing, vision, missing extremities, partial paralysis, epilepsy, severe intellectual disability, psychiatric disability, and, of course, dwarfism.

I, obviously, missed the boat by not pursuing my grant. After all, if a hearing and vision-impaired dwarf could guard the sky, surely a blind dentist, equipped with a superbly trained seeing tooth dog, could care for the nation’s teeth. If I only knew then what I know now.

Bill Hansmann is a dentist and dental educator with over fifty years in the profession. He continues to teach and write political blogs and semi-mediocre novels while living with his wife and cats in Georgia.

Image: FAA