Let’s give our ‘eulogies’ to the living

This is the time of year when people send beautiful cards—both digital and store-bought—and if we’re lucky, they might scribble a few endearing words. If we are really lucky, there might be an annual letter sharing what they’ve been up to during the past year, a busy time when neither you nor they were able to make a more personal contact.

No matter how busy we are, though, if they suddenly died, we would drop everything and spend an exorbitant amount for a plane ticket just to see them one final time while they are lying in a coffin. Crying, we would give a sincere eulogy to someone who is no longer able to hear our words.

Maybe eulogies should be for the living.

Decades ago, Aunt Rosz held a 90th birthday party for Uncle Dan. Family and friends from around the country flew in for the festive dinner that was held in an active living center’s clubhouse. For over an hour, people went to the podium to give heartfelt chats about how much Dan meant to them, often sharing a special memory. The room was filled with laughter and tears as the stories made us adore Dan even more. Sometimes roasted, sometimes smothered with love, Dan appreciated every tale.

When there were no more stories to share, we gathered around the large birthday cake to help the newest nonagenarian blow out all his candles.

In the days that followed, it was repeatedly said how wonderful it was that Dan heard the avalanche of loving commentaries while he was alive. Several years later, most of those stories were repeated as eulogies during his funeral.

Image by Drazen Zigic.

Of course, not everyone is fortunate enough to live to a monumental old age. Even if we are flawlessly able to maintain our mental and physical health, there are other variables that could take us or a loved one all too soon. But, whenever possible, isn’t it better to share your feelings with the person who has played an instrumental or loving role in your life while they are alive to hear it rather than when you are looking down at their casket?

After all, how many times has someone:

• tearfully said about a deceased friend or relative, “I never told “x” how much he meant to me.”
• shared a story at a funeral that the dearly departed would have laughed or cried along with?
• heard a passionate tale about something the deceased did or said that greatly affected the person’s life, but no one else knew?

Telling family or friends how much they mean to you doesn’t imply smothering the person with chatter that makes them think you want to be remembered in their will. It simply means taking the time now while they are alive to share how you cherish having them in your life. Tell them now when they can hear your words and see your loving expressions. Don’t wait until they are being lowered into the ground to blend with the earth.

Your loving words or sincere praise are sure to mean so much more to beloved family and friends than an expensive gift exquisitely wrapped. Besides, with Bidenomics, an expensive gift might be a bag of groceries.

Let those who have affected your life in good ways hear their eulogy directly from you. Then, tuck the words away and hope it’ll be many years before you repeat them.

To everyone who has taken the time to read my American Thinker columns, thank you. Let’s pray the New Year halts our country’s Marxist tilt and proudly restores America’s constitutional republic heritage.

From my Hanukkah menorah to your Christmas tree, my best wishes for a Happy New Year!

Robin M. Itzler is a regular contributor to American Thinker. She can be reached at [email protected].