Time for Christie to exit stage left

In As You Like It, Shakespeare wrote that “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”  On the fourth Republican presidential debate stage Wednesday night, Governor Christie desperately tried to be a player, but it’s time for him to exit.

The elephant is a symbol of the Republican Party, and though Christie has almost as much girth, Wednesday night he was more like a rampaging bull.  Picking on Trump mostly, but no one on stage escaped his wrath—though he was gentler to Nikki Haley.

In a heated exchange with Vivek Ramaswamy, Vivek encouraged Christie to leave the stage, then go indulge in another meal (a shot of Ozempic might do him more good).  I suggest he exit stage left, because that’s where he seems to be coming from. Indeed, from the audience’s perspective, Christie’s podium was on the far left.

Apparently, former president Trump is no longer Donald Duck.  Instead, Christie referred to him as Voldemort, but it is he who’s a gross ogre. Taking a page out of the leftist playbook, he projected his own shortcomings onto other Republican candidates.  For example, he asserted that Vivek is the “most obnoxious blowhard in America.”  Actually, that’s an apt description of Christie himself.

He is so obnoxious, in fact, that the audience booed him during his closing statement. To elicit that sincere spontaneity en masse takes some doing, because onlookers usually appreciate candidates in the arena, even those “marred by dust and sweat and blood,” as Theodore Roosevelt put it.

Generally, closing statements receive polite applause, or at least silence, from supporters of other candidates.  But Christie chose to exit the stage as only a grotesque ogre can, hurling more gratuitous epithets at the frontrunner.

Christie proudly touts his service as a U.S. Attorney in New Jersey, and how he worked closely with the FBI.  How ironic, then, that his ogrish wrath is directed at Trump, rather than focus on the weaponization and corruption of the DOJ and FBI.

Christie described Trump as “angry and bitter.”  Who wouldn’t be after all the Russian collusion and other hoaxes?  It’s human to be angry, and completely expected after all the trumped-up indictments and unprecedented Democrat lawfare Trump has suffered—all things considered though, he’s rather sanguine.

Fatty Arbuckle was a slapstick comedian known for chucking pies on stage.  Apparently, he was skilled at chucking them simultaneously in opposite directions.  That sounds a lot like Fatty Christie.  The difference is that Christie’s don’t stick; in fact, he’s no longer a viable player on the stage.  Fortunately for him, future president Trump may be magnanimous.

Image from X.