North Korea’s Kim Jong Un cries, calls for more kids

Ruthless North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un cried as he called on women to have more children, saying that it was their duty to halt the country’s declining birth rate in order to strengthen the Hermit Kingdom for the future. Kim told the ladies comrades in attendance at a recent National Mothers’ Meeting in Pyongyang, “Preventing a decline in birth rates and good child care are all of our housekeeping duties we need to handle while working with mothers.”

Of course, even more importantly, he urged them to instill the values of his communist party in their children. (There is no word if he then added, “to preserve our democracy.”)

The totalitarian leader repeatedly dabbed at his eyes with a handkerchief while delivering his emotional plea. Many women in the audience wept right along with him.

This might have appeared highly choreographed, but it wasn’t disingenuous! Promise! The Dear Leader is actually very sensitive! And The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is in danger of running out of people and needs more. (Okay, that’s partially due to Kim purging so many, but this is no time to get particular.)

So come on, ladies, take one for the team! Or two or three or…

He’s only one man, and the People’s Republic needs some more young Uns. But he can only do so much himself. There’s a reason he’s called “Little Rocket Man.”

Image: Kremlin.ru, via Wikimedia Commons (cropped) // CC BY-SA 4.0