54 Funny Retirement Gifts That Will Make Everyone Laugh

Retirement is a time to celebrate! You’ve worked hard for years, and now it’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. The question is, what do you get the person who has everything? Choosing a humorous retirement gift shows them you care about them and you are thinking about them.

Laugh out loud with these 54 funny retirement gifts.

Printed on an abrasion-resistant canvas surface, this personalized spoof newspaper cover is a truly unique gift. It comes with a personalized image, as well as dates and events of their employment. Add their name, company name, job title, years of service, or retirement date to the headline and caption.

An ideal gift for a retirement party commemorating someone’s career. Plus, you can’t beat the price tag at just $16.95.

What would make your friends, family, or colleagues smile during your retirement? You can’t go wrong with these retirement business cards.

These hilarious cards offer a professional and light-hearted design you won’t find anywhere else. Designed to give a good laugh to colleagues, friends, and family on retirement day. A pack of 50 cards costs $7.

In retirement, who cares about the time? Keeping track of the DAY is the most important thing. This is where day clocks come into play.

Every week, the single hand rotates around the face of the day clock. There are markers for noon and midnight on each day. Overall, anyone lucky enough to own this wall-mounted clock will enjoy a daily chuckle whenever they see it.

In retirement, retirees sometimes enjoy a nice cold beverage. This set of two koozies displays the carefree attitude of the person holding the drink now that they’re retired. Plus, it’s a practical gift that will make them laugh whenever they use it.

Clearly, this to-do list summarizes her retirement! With an invisible zipper, the pillow cover measures 17.72×17.72 inches and is made from cotton/linen. FYI, this is the pillowcase and not an actual pillow. But, that does make it easier to clean.

Retirement is more of a time for readjusting for the retiree. With this extra time, they can try out new things — including coloring like a 5-year-old.

This retirement coloring book will bring your favorite retiree back to his or her childhood. More importantly, there are numerous benefits of adult coloring including easing anxiety, improved motor skills, and better brain function. Plus, it can be a welcome distraction to combat boredom.

How does the new retiree plan to spend their time? Whatever they want.

Retirement coffee mugs always make great gifts, especially if they say something witty or humorous. The retirement coffee mug serves as a reminder that they have no agenda other than their own.

When you’re looking for a funny retirement gift, nothing beats the Gagster “Over The Hill” Hearing Enhancer earhorn.

A hilarious retirement party favor, this gift is perfect for anyone who wants to celebrate their retirement with some fun. Obviously, this won’t work if someone retires early. Whatever the case, it comes in a variety of colors and costs $15.

There’s only one chance to be young, but there’s only one chance to be old as well! In this delightfully illustrated book, Dr. Seuss perfectly captures the whimsical magic of aging.

You can’t go wrong with Accoutrements Emergency Underpants if you’re looking for an amusing retirement gift. These underpants make a great retirement gag gift and are priced at just under $7. Aside from that, they’ll come in handy if anything unexpected happens.

Those looking for retirement gifts for someone who enjoys wine will love this Time to Wine Down wine rack. In all likelihood, they will drink more wine now that they are retired. However, it does cost over $40.

This roll of toilet paper is yet another in a long line of ridiculous gag gifts.

In addition, it’s 3-ply, so you’re at least giving comfort when the retiree has to go to the bathroom. As such, there is some value in this gift besides sitting in a closet for years to come.

Naps are synonymous with retirement. Because of that, funny gifts like this are likely to be used frequently.

No matter if their grandchildren are visiting or their significant other is trying to persuade them to do housework, this mask will keep them from being disturbed.

A T-shirt like this is the perfect way to show you care about your favorite retiree. The shirt humorously reads, “I’m Retired, You’re Not. Have Fun At Work Tomorrow.” It comes in 16 different colors, including several tie-dyed options.

‘Work Will Suck Without You’ is a cute, practical, and touching purse/tote. You can give this gift to your best work friend when she is leaving, and you want to show how much you care about them without getting too mushy.

In short, this makes for a perfect retirement gift for women.

You won’t find a better retirement gag gift than this bumper sticker. After all, it’s a cool and funny way for the retiree to let others know…