Start Spreading The Poop: Hillary, Chelsea Get Nasty Surprise Watching Broadway Show

Hillary and Chelsea Clinton recently attended a Broadway show together, and someone reportedly left something near them in the aisle that sent an aromatic message.

The mother-daughter team was seated at the Shubert Theater to see the production of “Some Like It Hot,” the title of which may have been singularly appropriate considering the incident.

“Last week, when Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were in the audience, the lights came up for intermission and there were two human turds in the aisle just near the famous political duo,” a source told Page Six of The New York Post.

“The house crew dealt with it very appropriately and quickly, and Hillary and Chelsea and Chelsea remained in the theater for the second act,” the source added.

“There was an incident when Hillary Clinton and Chelsea attended,” another source echoed. “It was an elderly person and it’s rather sad, but yes, the house staff worked quickly to help resolve the situation and Act II started as scheduled.”

New York City does have a problem with excrement; a study conducted on Manhattan’s Upper East Side found high concentrations of bacteria from poop on indoor floors and carpets.

“We found numbers of bacteria that were absolutely astonishing,” chemistry professor Alessandra Leri, who co-authored the study, told The New York Post, asking rhetorically, “The real question was, even after the feces are ostensibly cleaned up, do the bacteria persist on the sidewalks?”

“30,000 bacterial cells per 100 milliliter of water. The EPA has a benchmark that cities use to close beaches and that benchmark is 110 cells for 100 milliliters of water,” Leri told CBS News.

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Trains transporting human waste from New York City have wound up in landfills across the South. The excrement has been transported in freight containers filled with “biosolids,” a dehydrated, treated version of the substance. In the past, New York City actually sent the excrement into the ocean, but in the past 30 years, they have sent it to landfills.

In April 2018, a train holding millions of pounds of excrement from New York got stuck in Parrish, Alabama, with a population of 982.

The train, stuck in a rail yard next to a softball field, forced people to stay indoors and little league games had to be rescheduled as a result.

AP reported at the time that because New York had no room for its biowaste and could not dump it into the Atlantic Ocean because of federal law, it had transported its excrement to Alabama since 2017, as Alabama’s zoning laws were not as restrictive as New York’s. Thus the train was bound for the Big Sky Environmental landfill, roughly 20 miles east of Parrish.

The nearby town of West Jefferson, which was supposed to receive the excrement, and where trucks were supposed to transport the waste to the landfill, filed an injunction against the landfill in January to prevent the biowaste from being stored in the town’s rail yard, which terminated shipments coming to the town.

That meant shipments following the injunction wound up in Parrish. CNN reported that Parrish, which is only two square miles, had to host 10 million pounds of poop.